If you’re not familiar, New England got hit pretty hard with an October snow-pocalypse. This particular gem was posted to a mailing list by a long time friend of mine. Power is still spotty, and even places with power restored internet connectivity is still out. I presume my friend (anonymity requested to protect the plageristicly-guilty) posted this from work. Enjoy.

Day 4 of the outage. Deep in the jungle at this point. Hardware is intact, but no internet seen, we’re purely in local mode now. Natives are becoming restless and muttering about Ver—n. Caught Imbitu preparing a spare modem for sacrifice – the sad little devil doesn’t understand that no hardware spirits can help him against the demons of C-m–st corporate incompetence. Morale is dropping. Sent scouts out to look for alternative signal sources; I know it’s hopeless, but fiddling with foil and coathangers keeps them busy. I think Carruthers is going mad; he’s muttering about withdrawal and clicking repeatedly on Refresh, the poor sodder. Supplies of cached XKCD comics and videos involving kittens are almost exhausted; if we don’t get a ping soon I’m not sure what will happen. Bartles is starting to dream of Rockwell 56K V.90 modems at night, cycling through the handshake ritual. Freeeeooooo, Freeoooooooooop… I may have to shoot him.

If you find this, know that we do have landline phone service and if we’d stuck to DSL we might not be down the creek and lacking paddles in this fashion. Must go – the beaters are rubbing aloe on the cable modem again – Jones, signing out.